Gentiles and Tax Collectors

Matthew 18:15-17 NRSVUE “If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If you are listened to, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If that person refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a gentile and a tax collector.

This passage starts with instructions for reconciliation but ends with direction to shun others. Or does it? In other places, Jesus tells his followers to love their enemies, including social outcasts like gentiles and tax collectors. He also tailors his message to his audience—he is speaking to Jews and uses shorthand for people from whom they would keep some distance and trust only as much as required to function in society. Israel was under gentile (Roman) occupation, and tax collectors had earned their reputation for dishonesty. It’s OK not to trust those you know are likely to hurt you.

That said, we can still love them. While this passage has been used to support abusive practices of shunning and excommunication, Jesus tells us to love even our enemies. Are community members who hurt us worse than that? Are they more dangerous? Perhaps. I don’t want to give up all attempts at reconciliation, but in some cases I may need to withdraw and give it time. I am not strong enough to bear repeated wounds, and neither are those who have hurt me. We are likely both guilty in part, and time will likely help us both to soften and heal.

And in the case that the fault lies mostly or entirely with the other, and they are the one refusing accountability and reconciliation, it only hurts us to hold a grudge, and it will simply give them an excuse not to reconcile. Don’t do it. Treat them lovingly, even if it means staying distant and disciplining your attitude. Don’t harbor resentment. Don’t poke the bear.

OT Matthew 18:15

#thought #trust #reconciliation #safety