##March 31, 2023 Now that I’ve deconstructed or unravelled my faith, where do I go? I don’t want to float around in an unanchored agnosticism, but I also don’t want to latch onto the next shiny certainty I see. I’m jumping forward a bit here to start discussing reconstruction of a new way to believe.
Reconstruction
Having deconstructed my faith or experienced its collapse of its own accord, what will fill the void? As it is often said, nature abhors a vacuum, and having abandoned one faulty system, it wouldn’t do to carelessly replace it with another, which may be as bad or worse.1 Does this call for a renovation or for building a new system entirely? A stronger and more beautiful structure may look like a beautiful home where I can grow, but it is still a structure, and it carries the same risks of rigid beliefs. I have no desire to go from an Evangelical fundamentalism to a progressive fundamentalism, and trust me, fundamentalist progressives are real. Do I need something more flexible? Perhaps a set of general principles to guide my exploration? But that sounds so liberal—I might as well become a Unitarian. Seriously, how do I avoid wishy-washiness and rigidity?
Perhaps a better metaphor is that of a pilgrimage and what I take for the journey. As the terrain changes and I trek on, I need different kit to complement my strengths and counter my weaknesses, to travel light and carry only what is required. I’m no longer a young man in need of certainty but a seasoned traveller exploring ancient paths new to me. I may cross untracked wilds, following only the contours of the land. I may find refreshing springs and and marshy fens, awesome vistas and lost vales, sunlit glades and shadowy glens. I may even fall into a pit—oh, what an adventure that would be!2
